Two nights ago I bought a kolsch-style beer at Mega-Bev, figuring to drink it at home while watching a movie. Then I went to another store, and when I returned to the car and opened the door, the kolsch slipped out of its bag on the car seat and exploded--exploded! foooosh! foam all over the place--on the pavement. Since I had my heart set on a kolsch, I went back to Mega-Bev and bought another, and when I got home, as is my wont with warm beer, I stuck it in the freezer to chill it quickly. Last night, upon opening the freezer door to remove a packet of chicken, I discovered my bottle of kolsch, which I had forgotten all about the night before while watching the movie. Naturally the beer was frozen solid and had expanded wondrously. But rather than fracturing the bottle, it had simply forced its way out past the cap. Turns out there was still plenty left. So of course I did the logical thing and filled the sink with hot water and thawed out the beer. Then I poured it into a mug--but oh, no! No foam! None, not so much as a bubble. The beer was flatter than my checking account after the bills have been paid. You'd have to be a pretty desperate kind of fool to drink beer that flat. Actually, flat kolsch doesn't taste half bad. A darn sight better than other flat beers I've drunk.