I posted the following in FaceBook, then decided it deserved a more lasting presence. So here it is, preserved in perpetuity in this Fox’s World blog entry. . . .
Ladies, here’s what’s going on in the male mind when you ask him the Dread Question. You know the one. . . .
You: Does this dress make my butt look fat?
Him: Heck no! That dress looks killer on you. It doesn’t at all make your butt look fat.
What He’s Not Saying: Your butt makes your butt look fat. A seven-ton industrial winch won’t drag that out of him.
It’s in this manner that the game is played. You ask him a loaded question, and he answers truthfully but, valuing his life, not fully. There are other similar scenarios, I know, though not being a married man, I can’t pretend familiarity with all of them. But I know this one. Every man does.
Here’s the thing: he loves you. The condition of your butt and other physical features were likely part of what attracted him to you at first, but as he got to know you, his heart knit to you, and the two of you created a history together, and now he loves you just because you’re you. No one can replace you. Not even close. At least, that’s how it is with a good man, of which there are still plenty left. I hope you’ve got one. If you do, and you ask him the Dread Question, know that the real answer, which he may not know how to say, is, “It doesn’t matter. Because I love you.”