Inside the mind of my cat, Ruthie:
Lo, here am I, hungry after two hours of fruitless predation. For in response to my usual insistent whining and carryings on, my human didst fasten ye BirdsBeSafe collar around my neck, then opened the door and turned me loose to indulge my inner cougar. I have sought the fatted sparrow and reaped the dust. Thus is it ever, every morning and afternoon. Stupid BirdsBeSafe collar.
Meanwhile, there is food aplenty in the bowl my human doth provide.
I know what I shall do: I shall return to mine home, to the place that hath sheltered me. Yea, returning I shall return; yea, suddenly do I now appear on the patio just outside the sliding door, meowing in lamentation.
Ah! My human doth see me as I stare up at him in beseechment, hitting him with a full blast of my let-me-in eyes. Behold, he ariseth from the couch, and Yay! Here he cometh and slideth open the door.
Now shall I turn around and walk away. Seeya, sucker.
Inside the mind of me:
WTF?