A Bottle of Kolsch

Two nights ago I bought a kolsch-style beer at Mega-Bev, figuring to drink it at home while watching a movie. Then I went to another store, and when I returned to the car and opened the door, the kolsch slipped out of its bag on the car seat and exploded–exploded! foooosh! foam all over the place–on the pavement.

Since I had my heart set on a kolsch, I went back to Mega-Bev and bought another, and when I got home, as is my wont with warm beer, I stuck it in the freezer to chill it quickly.

Last night, upon opening the freezer door to remove a packet of chicken, I discovered my bottle of kolsch, which I had forgotten all about the night before while watching the movie.

Naturally the beer was frozen solid and had expanded wondrously. But rather than fracturing the bottle, it had simply forced its way out past the cap. Turns out there was still plenty left.

So of course I did the logical thing and filled the sink with hot water and thawed out the beer. Then I poured it into a mug–but oh, no! No foam! None, not so much as a bubble. The beer was flatter than my checking account after the bills have been paid. You’d have to be a pretty desperate kind of fool to drink beer that flat.

Actually, flat kolsch doesn’t taste half bad. A darn sight better than other flat beers I’ve drunk.

Posted in Funny and Weird Stuff | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on A Bottle of Kolsch

Forgiveness: Paying the Cost

Forgiveness can be as swift and easy as accepting a friend’s apology for being ten minutes late for lunch at the restaurant. Or it can be as grueling, as costly, as seemingly impossible, as forgiving a divorce or a business betrayal. What makes the latter kind of forgiveness particularly difficult is this: the other person may not care in the least. They may feel utterly justified in their mistreatment of you. They may even take pleasure at the injury they’ve caused you–or they may take no thought at all. Whether you forgive them or not means nothing to them because you yourself are of no consequence.

That’s the kind of forgiveness reflected in Jesus’s words “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing” (Luke 23:34). Father, they just don’t have a clue. No idea whatsoever. They’re prisoners of their ignorance, blinder than beggars and twice as poor.

Mercy and compassion toward those who showed him neither: that’s the extreme brand of forgiveness Jesus showed toward those who were killing him. Jesus didn’t pray “Father, forgive them” in order to set a lofty example; he prayed those words because he meant them. In his heart he longed for something far better for his persecutors than vengeance; he longed for them to one day see, and understand, and live.

What’s particularly important to note is, forgiving his executioners didn’t change Jesus’s immediate circumstances. The black iron spikes remained in his wrists and feet. The agony of crucifixion wasn’t relieved. Jesus still died a torturous, shameful death hanging naked on a post for all Jerusalem to see.

What changed was that the back of hatred was broken. It lost its self-perpetuating power–because the One who did know exactly what he was doing absorbed its worst blow and countered it with love for those who inflicted it.

Sometimes today we hear stories of that radical brand of forgiveness: The father who adopts his child’s murderer and raises him as a son. The college woman who, without minimizing the violence perpetrated on her, refuses to harbor bitterness against her rapist. The prisoner wrongly convicted who, when the truth is finally revealed, forgives those who took fifteen years of his life from him and far more besides.

For such people, forgiveness is no glib thing. It is big-ticket, and those who have been wronged are the ones who must foot the bill. Doing so may begin simply with this thought: “If I had the power to send those who have hurt me to hell…I would not.”

Forgiveness desires life, God-life, for the offender. It desires vision for the spiritually blind. It chooses–often against the forgiver’s own conflicting emotions–to pray for the release of those held captive by their own hate or sheer, selfish unconcern for the pain of others.

Forgiveness is not trite. It is not easy. It may even be miraculous. It is one choice followed by as many more choices as it takes.

If–no, when–we are deeply injured, may Jesus grant us his eyes to see clearly what the other person cannot see at all. May he give us the grace to pray from our heart, “Father, forgive them. Help them to see. Help them to know your love for them and for others. And grant them what you have so graciously given me: life–true, deep, powerful life.”

Posted in Heart, Spirit, and Faith | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Forgiveness: Paying the Cost

Quoting Bible Passages: Some Time- (and Money-) Saving Tips

If you’re a Christian nonfiction writer, chances are you quote the Bible frequently.* And that means your editor, or perhaps your proofreader, must check your quotes and verse references for accuracy. Depending on how many passages you quote and how you handle them, you’d be surprised how much time that can take. If you’re an independent author, it can translate into an added cost to you. But you can significantly reduce the time involved by following these four simple, commonsense tips:

1. Use one popular Bible version as your go-to for quotes. The NIV, ESV, NASB, NLT, NKJV, and NRSV are all examples of translations commonly chosen for their accuracy and readability. When you use only a single version, you need not state it in your verse references; just make sure the Bible publisher’s copyright blurb appears on your book’s copyright page.

2. If you do use other translations besides your primary translation, as is often the case, then do so sparingly, and have a good reason when you do. You need not show your primary translation in citations, but when you use a secondary translation, you should say which one. For example, if you use the New Living Translation in quoting Isaiah 35:9, indicate it thus: (Isa. 35:9 NLT). Your editor can’t check the accuracy of a quote unless he or she knows which version you’ve quoted from! Don’t make your editor have to hunt. Hunting takes time. And time, as you know, is —-.

3. Avoid using archaic or “novelty” translations as your primary Bible version. These include the King James Version, The Message, and the Amplified Bible. They’re fine as secondary translations, but for your default translation, your readers will appreciate one that is easily readable and a true translation, not an interpretation. You may love your venerable KJV, but remember, your first concern is to serve your readers, who will probably find “You meet him with rich blessings” (Ps. 21:3 ESV) more understandable than “Thou preventest him with the blessings of goodness.”

4. When using the NIV and the Amplified Bible, make sure you know and indicate which edition you are using. Both of these Bibles were updated somewhat recently, the NIV in 2011 and the AMP in 2015, and because their previous editions remain in widespread circulation, the older and newer editions frequently get mixed together. It’s therefore not enough to simply say NIV or AMP in your citations. Which NIV? Which AMP?

If you resort both to the online NIV or AMP and to your trusty old leatherbound, hardcopy edition–as a lot of writers do–then it’s a cinch that you’re mixing the earlier and current editions. You’ve got to distinguish between them, because the differences are often substantial. Your best bet is to choose one source for your quotations, whether online or print, and stick with that source. In any case, know which version of the NIV and AMP you’re quoting from in any given instance, and make sure you indicate it in your citation if it isn’t your primary translation. For example, if the NIV 2011 is your primary translation, then treat its predecessor, the 1984 edition, as you would a secondary translation, thus: (John 3:16 NIV 1984).

Keep these four simple pointers in mind and you’ll save your editor time and headaches, yourself some silver, and your readers a bit of head scratching.

_______________

* Not to say fiction writers don’t also quote the Bible, but their use of Scripture is typically far lighter than in a book on, say, biblical counseling. Novelists can nevertheless profit from this advice as readily as nonfiction writers.

Posted in Style and Grammar, Uncategorized, Writing and Copywriting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Quoting Bible Passages: Some Time- (and Money-) Saving Tips