Remembering Hilby

I met Hilby around seven years ago. The exact stretch has become a bit of a blur, but I remember well that first meeting. I was looking for a part-time job to help moderate the cashflow extremes of freelance editing and writing, and my friend Todd, music director at First Presbyterian Church of Hastings, offered to arrange an interview for me with the facilities manager for a custodial position. I grabbed the chance, and that’s how Hilby came into my life.

I was sitting in the church’s narthex when he walked up and extended his hand. “I’m Hilby,” he said with a grin. “Like people say about me: ‘Hilby here and he’ll be there.”

He was a robust guy in his sixties with a short, neatly trimmed beard—more like a full goatee with a little extra carpeting on the sides—to match his full head of medium-length salt-and-pepper hair. He was one of those people you instantly like because they like people.

Well, we got to talking, discussing the position and checking each other out, when a woman walked up. Neither of us had seen her in the church before, and I’ve forgotten what her circumstances were. I just remember she was in a tough spot and needed some help. Hilby steered her toward the proper staff and offered to pray for her, and I said, “Can we pray right now?”

Yes, she said, so we did. And that spontaneous prayer, besides encouraging and blessing the woman, marked the beginning of my friendship with one of the best men I’ll ever know.

Of course we started as boss and employee, and that’s how it was for a while. Hilby proved to be a superb communicator and a fair-minded manager who won my respect not only for his high standards but also because he never asked me to do anything he wouldn’t do, hadn’t done, and didn’t continue to do himself. His position made him my boss, but his example made him a leader who merited my loyalty.

As the months progressed, we moved from a good start into the easy and fun camaraderie of two men working together, serious about delivering our best but also laughing and kidding around, giving each other shot the way guys do. I’m not sure “shot” is the right spelling, but in any case, we dished it out and took it in turn, with a practical joke here and there to pepper things up. There were serious conversations and times of prayer as well, more of them as we got to know each other better.

After a couple years, I moved from Caledonia to Hastings, following which a personal grief hit me hard. Hilby was there during my sorrow on through the healing. I made some necessary changes in my life, among them being a return to the gym. I’ve lifted iron off and on since my early twenties, albeit with periods of inactivity, and it felt good to get back at it. At a certain point I invited Hilby to join me. It seemed the natural thing to do, him being a hands-on, outdoorsman kind of guy. He picked me up on the offer and, to my surprise and pleasure, invested himself fully, and we became regular lifting buddies. Twice a week we hit the weight room at the high school. A lot of people lose interest after an initial burst of enthusiasm, but Hilby stuck with it, called me his coach (I felt honored), worked hard, and did great. We encouraged each other. We had fun. And our friendship solidified and grew.

Hilby was the soul of gregarious. The way he’d engage with people amazed me. I’d walk into the church on a Monday morning and there he’d be, talking to some young mom or dad whom he’d known since they were little and who now had kids of their own in preschool; or ratchet-jawing with some guy his own age, or with church staff, or with…well, with anyone and everyone who came along. It’s my conviction that the better part of Barry County knew and loved my buddy.

As congenial as he was, Hilby was nevertheless also razor sharp. In the past, as a supervisor at Steelcase, he had introduced a number of time- and cost-saving efficiencies and best practices that saved the company wads of money, increased productivity, and, thanks to Hilby’s win-win ethic, made him a hero to those both under him and over him. It’s how he thought: How could the existing be improved to everyone’s advantage? How could he save a dime here and a dime there, knowing that the dimes added up? Only Hilby would have insisted that the toilet paper in the church bathrooms be installed a certain way because the rolls lasted longer. He had researched this. Who else would even think of such a thing?

Hilby and I shared a love of the outdoors. Our interests were different, but they meshed. The man was steeped in hunting and fishing. When deer season opened, he was in the woods—you could count on it. Ditto with turkey. And he was as happy ice fishing as sitting in a boat. I’m an infrequent dabbler at such stuff, but Hilby . . . his knowledge of wild game ran deep. If you knew him, you know what I mean. The outdoors was Hilby. He was a native son of the woods, field, and water, and upon returning from an excursion, out would come his cell phone, and he’d show you photo after photo of his latest expedition.

There were just two things I know of that Hilby loved more than hunting. One was his family, and of course the outdoors spilled over into that. There were photos of his granddaughter with her first deer and turkey . . . of improvements he and his son, Brian, were making on Brian’s land to optimize it for hunting . . . he was so proud of them, and he had a lot of respect for Brian. And after many years of marriage, he was still nuts about Reggie. I loved that about the two of them.

Reggie, thanks for the dinners at your place with you and Hilby. For me, the greatest treat was to see the friendship between the two of you, the liking and fondness you had for one another. His love for you came out in conversations you never even heard. When a man talks about his wife the way he talked about you, I know they’re both special people who’ve built something really good between them.

The other and foremost thing Hilby loved more than hunting was his Lord and Savior, Jesus. I am comforted to think my friend is with him now. So we grieve—God gave us tear ducts because he knew we’d need them to ease our hearts when they break—but “[we] do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Hilby has walked down the road ahead of us and over the hilltop. But just around some not-too-distant bend, he’s waiting with his son Scott and other loved ones in the presence of the One who knows and loves him best.

Hilby and I shared quite a few prayer times together. I knew his heart, and it was gold. And I know the same Lord that Hilby knows, to whom he entrusted himself. Jesus is utterly trustworthy, the way, the truth, and the life. The promises he makes, he keeps. And he has assured us, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die” (John 11:25–26).

After Hilby stepped down from his supervisory position at the church in August, the four of us men who worked under him—John Rutzen, Wade Nitz, Jim Daniels, and I—got together with our old boss and friend for an afternoon of fishing on John’s boat. It was a fitting way to celebrate Hilby’s graduation into real, well-earned retirement. We all knew that for him, retirement was just a transition into other kinds of activity; Hilby wasn’t made for sitting except in a deer blind. None of us ever dreamed that sunlit time with the five of us out on the lake would be our last. I’m so glad we had it together.

The story of Hilby’s life is, as with all of us, one of countless stories woven together from birth to death . . . and beyond, where the story continues as part of a far greater Story. That Story is one of unfathomable grandeur in which we all play a part. These words of mine capture only glimpses of a good man’s life lived lovingly, full-heartedly, and well.

I continue to do my custodial work twice a week, but it hasn’t been the same since Hilby left, and now . . . The church is full of memories of my friend and echoes of his voice—of the big grin, the fist bumps, the good work we did together, the conversations, the prayers, the shot given and shot returned . . . all of that and so much more, more than I can possibly tell. I miss my buddy Hilby. I will miss him in the years to come. When I’m out hiking the trails, or lifting weights, or casting a line in the water, I will think of him.

Thank you, my good friend and brother in Christ, for sharing life with me. I’ll see you again in a while . . . where you’re waiting, just around the bend.

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Looking for My Keys

I am washing my hands. It is my very first act upon arriving home, and I am performing it with uncommon vigor.

Nothing remarkable about that, you’re thinking. Everybody is washing their hands like crazy these days. True, but not everybody does so because they were looking for their car keys.

I’ll explain. I had finished an enjoyable hour practicing my tenor sax down at the Thornapple Plaza, which is a wonderful place to get in some licks outdoors in the evening and watch the sun set, and I was back at my car. I unlocked the door, took off my new ultra-snazzy, super-comfortable, spesh-ul neck strap, and tossed it in the back seat. Then I grabbed the case, set it atop the trunk of my Camry, disassembled my horn, and set it on the back seat as well.

There we go. All set, time to leave. I reached in my right jeans pocket, where I always carry my keys, and . . . nothing there. “Hm, okay,” I thought, “they’re in my jacket pocket. No, they’re not. Nuts. What did I do with them?”

I conducted a thorough search of my vehicle. Nothing. My horn case, maybe? Did I set the keys in it when I packed away my sax? I checked. Nope, not there. I retraced my steps from my vehicle to the stage and back again, scrutinizing the lawn, the pavement, every square foot where that old seductress, gravity, might tempt a key ring into leaping from my pocket. But no, no luck.

Was I beginning to panic? Ha! Not I. I always carry a spare set of keys for just such occasions–basic, but they’ll get me home. Still, this was no good. Besides holding a bunch of other important keys, my key ring bristles with little bar-coded cards for the library, grocery store, Pet Supplies Plus, and so on, as well as fingernail clippers and a small hex-head screwdriver whose purpose I’ve long forgotten. My key ring is like a pocket-size Rolodex of my life. I need it.

Then it dawned on me: the trash barrel. When I set the sax on the back seat, I had grabbed a handful of clutter as I emerged and traipsed it over to the barrel. Could I have inadvertently tossed my keys along with it? My sixty-five-year-old brain is still sharp as a razor, but it has seen a lot of shaves and developed plenty of burrs. It’s fully capable of doing something dumb. Then again, it has been inspiring dumb deeds all my life, such as eating poison ivy at eight years old, so I can’t lean too heavily on the age theory. It’s my brain, and it just does what it does. Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah . . . the trash barrel. There it sat across the parking lot, looking the very soul of innocence, which is pretty much what you’d expect from a trash barrel. Hastings has these weird-looking things that resemble robots wearing coolie hats, depending on how much you’ve had to drink. The hat makes it impossible to just peer inside the barrel, and you can’t remove it. Only a Certified Trash Barrel Hat Remover can do that. So you’ve got only two options. One is to reach in there and kind of feeeel your way around till, hopefully, you find what you’re looking for. The other option is not to. Just say screw it, walk away, and spare yourself the disgust. That would be the commonsense thing to do.

I can tell you, your hand comes across some mighty interesting objects, rooting around blindly in a public waste receptacle. That there, for instance–I’m pretty sure it’s part of a hamburger in a McDonald’s bag. And that . . . yes, that’ll be a nice, compactly wrapped, thoroughly piss-soaked diaper. Paper cups, bags, greasy paper plates, limp French fries, and oh yeah, there’s the catsup . . . ugh, this is nasty! . . . do you need more details? No? I thought not. The one thing there isn’t–or wasn’t, because I’m shifting tenses again–was keys.

I headed back to my car, climbed in, opened the bottle of 70 percent alcohol I carry in my console, and thoroughly drenched my hands. Time to give up the search. I stuck my spare key in the ignition, swung my legs inside the vehicle, and shut the door. And heard the faint clack of metal on metal.

Don’t tell me. Just don’t tell me . . . I opened the car door and peered outside.

My keys were dangling from the lock.

Thank you, sixty-five-year-old brain. You have filled my otherwise nondescript evening with so much unsought entertainment.

So now you know why it is paramount that I wash my hands with exceeding zeal and follow up with an alcohol rinse. It’s because I was looking for my keys.

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Talking to My Stuff

I’m a single guy, and while my apartment is comfortable, spacious, and clean, and I like it a lot, there’s not much conversation that floats around here. So I talk to my cat. “Hi, Ruthie,” I say. She stares at me. So much for that.

I also talk to stuff. My clothes, for instance, mostly in the morning. “Okay, time to put you on,” I inform my jeans. I never get a reply, for which I’m grateful. When my jeans start answering me, that’s when I’ll know that being by myself is more of a problem than I’ve realized.

“I think I’ll cook you up tonight,” I say to a package of brats in the freezer. They deserve a heads-up. We all appreciate a little advance notice when something demands our participation. It’s common courtesy, and I find that it gets buy-in. I’ve never known any of my brats not to cooperate when I show them a little respect, including the ones I’ve just put in the oven.

“Hmmm, guess I’ll play a little guitar,” I say to the air. And to my guitar: “Hullo, guitar. Ready to make some notes?” It is, as it turns out, and we make music together for fifteen, twenty minutes. “Wond’ring Aloud” by Ian Anderson, and an untitled tune of my own composition. I wrote it almost forty years ago; you’d think that by now I’d have a name for it, but no, no, sorry, no name. I talk to my musical instruments, but I don’t name my compositions. Or my instruments, for that matter. My alto sax is just my alto sax, not “Cherise” or “Stella,” though she’s definitely female, my lady.

Anyway, now you know. I’m a single guy who talks to things. I do have my limits. I don’t walk the sidewalks at night, shaking my fist and yelling at the moon. I just like a little conversation now and then, is all, even if it’s just me who’s doing the talking. And while a pair of boxer shorts may not have great active listening skills, at least they never interrupt.

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